Posted ByJungle Jim on October 28, 1999 at 22:32:33:
In Reply to: My School needs help! posted byMarilyn Anderson on April 30, 1999 at 15:02:38:
HEAR YE HEAR YE
4 score and 7 years ago, my double decker bus was overrun by semi-benevolent space monkey accountants and a proffesional Gilbert Godfried impersonator. My associates and I can no longer tolerate such conditions, and the following demands must be fulfilled asap. Slurpy machines dispensing the 13 colors of the rainbow will replace MAC machines worldwide(except Peru, due to past compliance’s). Tributes of chocolate covered beef jerky shall be sent per annum to the estate of Rodney Dangerfield. In an attempt to fill the grand caynon, all retired merchants marines will be asked to donate their collections of POGS, or their rhinestone jumpsuits. America’s favorite pasttime, kickball, shall be officially recognized as an olmipic sport. All public transportantion shall be required to make a brief midday stop over at the Promised Land. Once there, vendors will taunt passengers with prolonged cries of “God save the Chameleon”. In an attempt to revitalize the US economy, the Treasury shall produce $7 bills, bearing the portraits of richard simmons and kathy lee gifford. The tyrant ruler Gerald ford shall be asked to abdicate his throne, and nominate Charlton Heston as his successor. If the demands of my associates and myself are not met, the mighty mississippi will be forced to relinquish its “S”’s and be known henceforth as the Adequate miiippi. Also bald eagles will be made to take Rogaine with monoxadil to cure their thinning hairlines and then shall be known as Luxuirant Locks Eagles.
Signed,
L0rd John Tesh and his unruly misfits.
Paid for by the committee to elect Bob Saget sovergein of Greenland.